Sunday, August 9, 2009
I amost made it. I was withing minutes of bedtime before I gobbled up 3 chicken McNuggets and 2 oreos. I'm not sure that I did it out of hunger. It was something more seedy and deep within me. I have to get over the fact that this is not fair. No one else cause me to become overweight. I will not be able to eat like most people if I want to gain my health. One day I may be able to have 2 oreos and then move on. But, until that day, I have to not play the fairness game. There was some guilt involved because I felt like I was sneaking the food (that's not healthly on a whole other lever), and I wasn't able to exercise at all. I also realize that guilt is not associated with good health. Who taught us that emotion anyway? We don't need it! I must forgive myself and move on, knowing that I will not be perfect in this journey or any other one. I have lots of good things to love about myself, and one day I will add my body and looking in the mirror to that list. But, not today.