Monday, August 10, 2009

Emotions-Day 8

Wow, today was tough for me. I was really grumpy. I think part of it was leftover from the weekend and some of the disappointments from my eating. All I could think was that I have to be perfect in my eating to have any chance of losing all this weight, and who is perfect in anything? I started fighting a headache again and my back is hurting again, so I was trying to shop with my girls while fighting these two things. Then, we had to go grocery shopping, which never really puts me in a good mood. As I am typing this, I am wondering when I will find joy in the daily tasks that I have to do. Am I going to go through my entire life feeling this way and possibly passing it on to my children? I hope not, but I'm not quite sure how to make the shift. Sometimes I get jealous of my kids carefree lives and I think I take it out on them. So unfair! I know where my head needs to go; into my scriptures and in communication with my Heavenly Father. All these thoughts are not coming from him. I am saddened that tomorrow is the last day of summer. That could be partly to blame. Whatever. No more excuses. I am the only one with the power to change how I feel and how I react. Every moment I have a choice. How will I choose tomorrow? Stay tuned...

1 comment:

Ally said...

Heavenly Father is always there to help you. You are the one who taught me that with all that I have been through. We all have our struggles and I know you wish this were not yours, but you are so blessed and sometimes that can be hard to see from your own perspective. I struggle with that too. But remember others strive to be like you (like myself) and know how awesome you are so remember that on those hard days!!! This is not about perfection because nobody can be who Christ is. This is about being healthy and you are choosing that in so many ways, so be proud of that.