Fight to lose

I feel like I am in a fight for my life. I am in this position beacuse I lost the fight to take care of myself. Now, it is a battle everyday with my body and my mind. Yesterday I lost the battle of what I put into my mouth. Thanksgiving day was the last time I put something in my mouth that is not on my plan. Last night I ate some toffee as I was making our goodie plates. It was an emotional decision because I had really lost my temper earlier, and I allowed it to ruin the rest of my night. I know that being at a healthy weight will not make all my mental demons go away. I'm so tired of feeling anger.
But, today is a new day. I had not exercised since Monday, and I was determined to go for a run. I had to work off that toffee and keep myself in a fat burning zone. One benefit of having Orson home is that I can run later in the day when it warms up. Today it was 11:00 before I got outside. But, it felt so good. There was a slight wind which I didn't appreciate as I was finishing up my fourth mile. However, I was so proud of myself for my efforts and as I will tell you later, it paid off. Here are my lap times:
Mile 1-12:37 (all running)
Mile 2-12:34(all running)total 25:11
Mile 3-13:47(walking and running)total 38:59
Mile 4-15:57(hobbling and jogging)total 54:56
When I think back to my fist 5K a year and a half ago, I did 3.1 miles in over 51 minutes. Now I can almost do 4 miles in that same time. I was pretty wowed when my dad beat me in the 5K on Thanksgiving by 12 minutes. Even though he has 25 years on me, he also weighs 20 pounds less. I can't wait to see what I can do with 20 more pounds gone. As of today my weight is........

183.9

When I realize that I am over 10 pounds lighter than on Thanksgiving, which was 3 weeks ago, I can hardly believe it. I have to give Cindy Sybrowski a shout out for keeping after me to give this a try. I would not have thought results like this could be possible. I had set a goal to weigh 180 by Christmas, and with 8 days to go, I may be close. As long as I keep going in this direction, it's all good.

Okay, I have one more rant. Sorry this post is so long. I guess I've had lots on my mind. I find that I live in a few mentality. As excited as I am with my success, I fear that something will happen to mess it up. I don't like having these thoughts. I feel like if I get too excited, then I will blow it. This has been a cycle that has held me back in Mary Kay all these years. Any time I have had a little success, I do something to stop it. It is always actions on my part. I'm not quite sure how to flip the switch in my thinking, but I've got to find a way. My greatest wish with everything that I do is to be able to feel happy. I want to smile more and feel joy and peace and extend it to others. And I don't want it to feel forced or fake or like it's only a show for others, and my family doesn't get to benefit.

I don't know what else to say, but I am looking forward to the new year. I am hopeful that Orson will be working and we can settle back into a healthy routine. I appreciate all your comments and support. I love you guys so much!!!

Pushing myself

My body aches. I have not pushed myself like this in a long time. It is good for me. It makes me feel strong even as I have to crawl to the waiting hot bath. I was out of town from Thursday to Sunday, so I ate out more than normal. Despite that, my weight is now 185.7.
Saturday I went to a 90 minute boot camp with my dad. I had a lot of fun, but it was hard and I appreciated that. I have been sore since yesterday. Today I knew I needed to get out and run. My muscles needed the movement. So, I ran and ran and ran and had the best run of my short career. Here are my lap times:
Mile 1-12:50 (running mixed with jogging)
Mile 2-13:05(running mixed with walking)total 25:56
Mile 3-13:48(running mixed with walking)total 39:44
Mile 4-17:02(walking mixed with jogging)total 56:46
I am more sore than ever. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Sorry

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
This little ole blog gets neglected, but not as much as my other one. Yesterday was my 2 month anniversary of started my weight loss program. And, I have lost 32 pounds. I am amazed. I still have a great deal of fear that it will somehow just stop. Sometimes it's hard for me to feel excited because I fell like my success might go away. Obviously I still have a lot of mental issues to deal with. I have not been at this weight for over 5 years. I am only 8 pounds away from being at my weight from 10 years ago. These are the things I have to look at to keep me excited. It really is not hard to follow my eating plan. I love the food. I look forward to dinner with my family. I am proving that you can do this.
My excercise has waned slightly with the cold weather, but I am utilizing my treadmill more. I just can't run for 3 miles on the treadmill. Yesterday, however, I started at 4.4 and went all the way up to 5.5. I would do one minute then back to 3.0 for one minute. I would go up .1 with each minute. I love that I can run. I love that my heart is getting stronger. I love that I am prolonging my life. I long for the day when I can believe in myself every day and not have to convince my brain that I am successful.

Slow and Steady

It's been almost 2 weeks since my last post. So much for 3-5 times a week. I have only lost four pounds in the last 12 days. I am feeling frustrated, but I continue to follow my meal plan and exercise. This week I ran two miles without stopping and followed it up by running 3 miles without stopping for the first time in my entire life. My time was 43:39. I am amazed that I could do something like this at age 40. I was so excited. I am running a race on Thanksgiving and I would like to run it all. I would love to do it in 42 minutes, but I will be happy if I beat last years time of 44:26. I know that this week I need to log my food to see if there are reasons why I am not losing weight as fast. I am trying to stay excited because I am 25 pounds lighter than I was just 6 weeks ago. I am only two pounds away from where I was before I got pregnant with Megan 5 years ago. My goal was to weigh 190 by Thanksgiving, but that may not happen. I just want to make sure that I continue to move in the right direction. I never, ever want to see 200 pounds on my scale again.

Holidng Steady

I realize that I won't be dropping pounds every single day, but it would be nice. I held at 200 for 3 days, and I've been 199 for 3 days. I haven't run since Monday, but I plan on it tomorrow. I have done lots of walking and I lifted weights again today. Today's lunch was spaghetti squash with a couple ounces of chicken topped with Braggs Amino Acid. It is similar to a soy sauce, but I am allowed to have it on this program and it adds lots of flavor to anything. Tonight I had ground turkey with bell peppers and avocado. I am just feeling a little anxious because I want to be as far away from 200 as possible so I never have to see it again. I am getting ready to make my Thanksgiving menu, even though I will only be eating turkey and veggies. I still love to cook, so it's okay.

It's a good day

Today I hit the goal that has plagued me for more than 5 years. I weighed under 200 pounds. 199.1 to be exact. I am so proud of myself. This plan is really working for me. 21 pounds gone! Today was my first full day back on my 5 & 1 meal plan. It went well. For dinner I had spaghetti squash with shredded Italian chicken and bell peppers. For my exercise today I walked 2 miles and did 20 minutes of weights for my arms and sit ups. 3 sets of 15 with 8 pound weights. 3 sets of 20 for abs on the exercise ball. I did both obliques and front. I also walked Megan to and from school while she rode her bike. That probably added another mile.

Goodbye to 200

I have been right and 200.0 pounds for the last three days. My food arrived today, so I am back on schedule tomorrow. I am proud that having to ration my food packets for five days and add more "real" food I was still able to lose 2 pounds. I ran 3 miles again this morning. My friend Sherry joined me at 6:00 a.m. and we ran the first mile in 14:52 with our total time at 47 something. I expect to see a 1 in front of my weight tomorrow or the next day. Stay tuned. My attitude is good. After 30 days I really have no desire to eat foods that I shouldn't. Every once in a while my mind will make me think I'm suffering, but I am not. Tonight we had delicious fajitas. Normally I would have at least two, wrapped in tortillas, smothered with cheese and sour cream. But, now I simply eat the chicken, bell peppers, pico and avocado. What a meal.

Hello again

Well, it seems that a couple of people are wanting me to get back to this blog. Of course, when I started out, I was following a 30 day plan, which only lasted for a few weeks. So, I felt like a failure and couldn't face the blog anymore.
So, 30 days ago I started what will be my last "diet". I knew I needed some professional help, so I joined a company called Take Shape for Life (TSFL). In just 30 days, I lost 20 pounds. I am more than excited. Each day I enjoy 5 Medifast products (bars, soups, shakes, oatmeal, eggs, crackers, pudding) plus one lean and green meal. I eat 5-7 oz. of lean protein along with 3 servings of vegetables. After the first 3 days I have not felt hungry or had cravings. It is amazing. You can check it out and http://www.leanandluvinit.tsfl.com/. Cindy is my health coach and I have personally known her for almost 17 years. It's nice to have someone help you along the way. We talk on the phone and she emails me lots of great tips.
Now, I will commit to updating my progress 3-5 times a week. Is that vague enough? I appreciate all the support of my family and siblings. I know how important my health is. Here's to your health!

Menu Planning Monday

Time to get back on the horse. Now that I have a good idea of breakfast, snack and lunch foods, I am just going to focus on putting my dinner menu on here. So many great ideas over at organizing junkie. Have a great week!

Monday
Tilapia w/couscous

Tuesday
Lasagna

Wednesday
Taquitos and cheese crisps

Thursday
Chicken pesto pasta salad

Friday
Salmon w/brown rice and steamed zucchini

Saturday
Turkey burger at Diamondbacks game (for me)

Sunday
Pineapple teriaki pork chops

Menu Planning Monday

Last week I never got my menu up due to traveling for my Aunt's funeral. It sure made a difference in how I ate. I am glad to be getting this posted to have a more consistent week.

Monday
Breakfast
3 egg whites w/1 slice toast
2 slices turkey bacon & 1 c. blueberries
Snack
1 apple w/1 T peanut butter
Lunch
boca burger on whole grain bun(I found thin buns at Costco)
1 slice tomato, lettuce, 1/2 T lite mayo 1/2 T mustard
1/2 slice lowfat swiss cheese
1 c. grapes
Snack
1 c. yogurt w/1 T walnuts
Dinner
4 oz roasted turkey
polenta w/cheese & veggies
1 c. steamed veggies

Tuesday
Breakfast
1 c. cereal w/1/2 c. soy milk & 1/2 banana
3 slices turkey bacon
Snack
2 oz turkey & 1 apple
Lunch
tuna melt on whole grain english muffin
Snack
3/4 c fat free ricotta w/1/2 c. berries & 1 T pecans
Dinner
turkey chili
1 1/2 c. romaine, 1/4 c. peppers, 1/4 c. cucumber, 1 T low fat viniagrette

Wednesday
Breakfast
1 egg + 2 egg whites w/salsa & 3 T low fat cheese on corn tortilla
1 c. watermelon
Snack
smoothie
Lunch
turkey salad wrap
1 piece fruit
Snack
1 pear & 1 string cheese
Dinner
bbq chicken w/3/4 c. brown rice, 1c. green beans
maple ricotta cheesecake

Thursday
Breakfast
2 kashi waffles w/1/2 c. fat free berry yogurt & 1 hard boiled egg
Snack
carrots w/hummus
Lunch
same as Monday
Snack
english muffin w/pb&j
Dinner
tacos w/chili

Friday
Breakfast
Yogurt parfait w/3 slices turkey bacon & 1 hb egg
Snack
1 apple w/string cheese
Lunch
pesto pizzettas w/salad
Snack
turkey sandwich
Dinner
spaghetti squash marinara w/6 oz fish
1 c. green beans w/almonds

Saturday
Breakfast
1 c. cereal w/1/2 c. soy milk & 1/2 banana
Snack
yogurt w/1 T. wlanuts
Lunch
pesto pizzettas w/salad
Snack
fruit & cheese
Dinner
fajitas

Breakfast
omlette
Snack
fruit & cheese
Lunch
boca burger
Snack
yogurt & nuts
Dinner
pork roast w/sweet potato & salad & veggies

Weekend Update

I have no news to report from this weekend. I was gone shopping all day Saturday and with church and everything today, I wasn't able to follow my outlined meals. So, I also did not weigh in or exercise. Not the typical weekend I want to have. Tomorrows weigh in will not be pretty. But, I expect to see it kick in again by Wedesday if I can stick to my menu and keep up with my exercise. Looking forward to a great week!

Eating-Day 12

I ate one strawberry before my run. It was not enough. I ate the rest after my swim with my omlette. I did not like the carrots in the omlette.

Snack was fine. I split up all 3 items over about 2 hours.

I finished my last 3 pesto pizzetas for lunch.

I had Kashi cereal and soy milk for my snack.

Then, I ate 1/2 a roll, and it went downhill. I went out to dinner. I had chicken tortilla soup (I could have asked for no cheese or sour cream to save on some fat and calories). I had a turkey burger with lettuce and tomato and avocado. I asked for the mayo on the side and added a little to each bun. I had a salad instead of fries. I chose ranch on the side, but could have picked a vinaigrette instead. Then, I ate 10-12 steak fries dipped in ranch and 1 chiken strip. I felt disgusting. That's definitely gonna show up in my weigh in.

Weight:213.3 (up .6 from yesterday)

Exercise-Day 12

I almost walked for my 36 minutes. But, I jog/walked and had great times. My mile was 14:12 and my 2 mile was 28:30. I was wiped out but very proud.

I did my 10 minute body weight exercises. I had to rest in between the two sets.

I swam for 20 minutes.

Emotions-Day 12

I did not want to exercise today. But I did and I am so glad. I have to realize that I am consantly going to be fighting these battles in my mind. I won that one. I lost one at dinner. I ate a healthy meal at a restaurant and then I finished someone's fries and chicken strip with ranch. Oh well. I still have a lot to learn and a lot more practice to change my habits. That is why you are encouraged to eat at home as much as possible during the first 30 days. I will be gone all day tomorrow. It will be hard. I will want to fall back on my eat junk while I shop all day habits. If I can do well at 4 out of my 5 meals, I will be pleased. It's all about little changes.

Eating-Day 11

I had a few sips of my smootie before my workout. I finished most of it after along with my muffin.

I had my 2 blueberry muffins and an apple for snack.

Here's my snag. I went shopping. I thought I only was going to one store and I went to four. So, I had about 6 pieces of Megan's popcorn chicken. I thought it tasted gross.

Came home and had my real lunch. I had 4 pesto pizzetas and skipped the salad.

For snack I had one slice of Ezekiel bread with butter. (Not in the plan)

Dinner I had one chicken breast, spaghetti squash with marinara and salad.

Snacked on some Ritz crackers for no apparant reason. Probably ate about 10.
That's gonna show up in my weight!

Weight:212.7 (down .7 from yesterday)

Exercise-Day 11

I took a 20 minute walk with my hubby which was nice.

I did two sets of my circuit training for the arms. I used 8 pound dumbells.

I swam for 25 minutes since I felt like I hadn't gotten a lot of cardio.

Emotions-Day 11

All was well today. I stayed upbeat no matter what. There were a few snags, but they didn't send me into melt down mode. All I can ask for each week is to have more good days than bad.

Eating-Day 10

I ate one blueberry muffin before my run. I ate my egg white omlette and other bluberry muffin after my swim.

I had my apple and almonds for snack.

For lunch I decided to have what I made yesterday. Many of these meals make quite a few servings, and I will probably eat them for lunch several days in a row. I had 4 pesto pizzatas and salad with fat free ranch.

I skipped my afternoon snack and replaced it with 2 chocolate chip cookies.

I had delicious fish tacos for dinner and left out the melon and frozen yogurt to have another cookie.

Weight:213.4 (down 2.4 from yesterday)

Exercise-Day 10

I got up a 6:00 and put on my running clothes. After fixing the kids breakefast and eating one of my blueberry muffins, I was off. I jog/walked 5:11 before stopping. I am getting around two corners in that time. I will make it to the third corner on my next run.

My one mile time was 14:42. I am still shooting for 14:30.
My two mile time was 30:40. I did a total of 34 minutes.

I did my 10 minute body weight exercises.

I swam for 20 minutes.

Update:10:25 p.m.-I just walked for 27 minutes on the treadmill at 2.5 on level 5 incline and burned 150 calories, or one cookie, since I ate another one after my last post. AARGH!

Emotions-Day 10

I felt good today. Of course, dropping weight will do that to you. I got up early and made the kids breakfast for the first day of school. I exercised and got to spend time with Megan. I felt like my mood started to sink as I started to eat cookies. Imagine that. I ate 3, but did so willingly and knowing that I was making a choice. I must admit that they tasted delicious. What is it about some things that causes me to have no control. I never should have bought them. I need to buy things that I don't like. I had to provide cookies for church tonight and I bought some disgusting sugar cookies that I would never eat, but then I bought some chocolate chip cookies and they taunted me for the rest of the afternoon. I thought I could just take a few bites, but that didn't work. So, I had another one, and then after dinner, another one. This is a common occurance when I start having success. Big time self sabotage. So, I may take another walk tonight to burn off some of those calories. Tomorrow will be a new day and another chance. I have to focus on each meal. I am going to do myself a favor and just let it go.

Eating-Day 9

I ate my Kashi cereal before my walk. It called for 1 cup of fat free milk but, I don't drink milk, so I substituted it for 1/2 cup soy milk. The tradeoff was instead of 90 calories and 0 grams of fat, I had 65 calories and 2 grams of fat. I ate my hard boiled egg after my swim.

My snack was fine. I made the pesto pizzatas for lunch which were made on polenta. I loved it. I ate four instead of three, ate only 1/2 the salad amount and fat free ranch instead of low cal. caesar.

I never ate my afternoon snack. This could continue to be a problem with school starting, but I will keep working on it. So, I had a little splurge with dinner since we were celebrating back to school. I decorated the table and made baked chicken, spaghetti squash with marinara and green beans with almonds. I also had a piece of my ezekiel bread with some butter and a glass of sparkling apple cider. I was pretty full. I'm still not hungry either. All in all, a good day.

Weight:215.8 (same as yesterday)

Exercise-Day 9

I started off with a twenty minute walk. It was muggy, so it made me tired.

I started my circuit training today. I used 8 pound dumbells. I only made it through one set since my back was hurting.

I swam for 15 minutes and scrubbed the darn murky pool for 20.

Emotions-Day 9

Today was a much better day. I stayed really busy and sometimes that helps. It is bittersweet to have today as the last day of summer. I think school should start in about a month. Oh well. I made Ezekiel bread today and it is good. Now I don't have to buy it. Even though I was not perfect today, I still feel okay because I did my best and still ate healthy food.

Eating-Day 8

I ate my watermelon before my run.
I ate my omlette after my swim. However, I was out of salsa so I added tomatoes, olives and onions to my eggs.
I ate my lunch before we went shopping.
I took my almonds and a pear with me. So, I wasn't able to eat my cottage cheese.
I got home from the store at 6:15 and still had to prepare dinner and go to meet the teacher at the school, so I ate my apple and almond butter.
I ate my tilapia, rice and spinach and I had to add a little fat free ranch because I seasoned the fish a little too spicy.
I didn't eat my yogurt and fruit, so instead I had one blueberry muffin that I had just made for future menus.
I rate today about a B+

Weight:215.8

Exercise-Day 8

Okay, here is how I am working it. Each morning as I set out with the intention of adding two more minutes to my jog/walk session, I am focusing on my mile time and extending my jogging. So, this morning I jogged for 4:55 before the jog/walk began. I really was shooting to get my mile in at 14:30, but I came in at 14:58. I finished my second mile just as my 32 min. expired. Perfect.

I came in and did my 10 minute body weight exercises.

I had every intention of swimming laps, but after 30 minutes of scrubbing algae off the sides and bottom of the pool, from inside the pool, I was done.

Tomorrow begins my first day of circuit training. No walk is scheduled, but I may just walk one mile as a warm up.

Emotions-Day 8

Wow, today was tough for me. I was really grumpy. I think part of it was leftover from the weekend and some of the disappointments from my eating. All I could think was that I have to be perfect in my eating to have any chance of losing all this weight, and who is perfect in anything? I started fighting a headache again and my back is hurting again, so I was trying to shop with my girls while fighting these two things. Then, we had to go grocery shopping, which never really puts me in a good mood. As I am typing this, I am wondering when I will find joy in the daily tasks that I have to do. Am I going to go through my entire life feeling this way and possibly passing it on to my children? I hope not, but I'm not quite sure how to make the shift. Sometimes I get jealous of my kids carefree lives and I think I take it out on them. So unfair! I know where my head needs to go; into my scriptures and in communication with my Heavenly Father. All these thoughts are not coming from him. I am saddened that tomorrow is the last day of summer. That could be partly to blame. Whatever. No more excuses. I am the only one with the power to change how I feel and how I react. Every moment I have a choice. How will I choose tomorrow? Stay tuned...

Menu Planning Monday

Here we are at week 2, joining menu planning monday over at organizing junkie.

MONDAY
Breakfast:
1 egg + 2 egg whites scrambled with 1/3 c. salsa and 3 T. low fat mozzerella on corn tortilla
1 cup watermelon chunks
Snack:
1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese w/ 1 T. almonds
1 pear
Lunch:
tuna melt-6 oz tuna w/2 T chopped celery &2 T low fat vinaigrette on toasted whole grain english muffin topped with 1 slice low fat cheddar cheese
Snack:
1 apple w/1 T. almond butter
Dinner:
Tilapia
3/4 cup rice
3 cups spinach
1 cup berries w/1/4 cup lowfat vanilla yogurt & 1 T. pecans

TUESDAY
Breakfast:
3/4 cup Kashi Go Lean cereal
1 cup fat free milk
1 banana
1 hard boiled egg
Snack:
1 apple
2 sticks string cheese
Lunch:
3 pesto pizzetas
2 cups salad greens w/1 T. low fat caesar
1 cup berries
Snack:
turkey sandwich-2 oz. surkey breast, 1 tomato, 2 romaine leaves, 2 T. dijon, 2 slices ezekiel bread
Dinner:
Spaghetti marinara made with spaghetti squash
6 oz. chicken
1 cup green beans w/1 T. almond slivers

WEDNESDAY

Breakfast:
2 blueberry bran muffins
omlette w/3 egg whites, 1 tsp. olive oil, 1/2 cup diced tomatoes, 1 tsp chopped garlic, 1 T. chopped bresh basil, & 1 T. grated parmesan cheese
Snack:
1 apple w/2 T. almonds
Lunch:
turkey burger on pita w/lettuce & tomato
tomato soup
Snack:
2 pesto pizzettas
Dinner:
fish tacos

THURSDAY
Breakfast:
Berry smoothie-1/2 cup fat free greek yogurt, 1/2 cup berries, 1 cup fat free milk& 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 english muffin w/natural peanut butter & sugar free fruit spread
Snack:
2 blueberry muffins
1 piece fruit
Lunch:
1/2 turkey sandwich-2 oz. turkey, 2 tsp. dijon & 1 slice ezekiel bread
tomato soup
Snack:
1 apple
2 T. almonds
Dinner:
Chopped salad-3 cups romaine, 4 oz. chicken, 1 cup tomato, 1 cup cucumbers, 2 T. feta, 3 olives, 2 T fat free ranch

FRIDAY
Breakfast:
Omlette-4 egg whites+1 egg, 4 T broccoli, 2 T onion, 2 T carrots, 1 wedge laughing cow light cheese, 2 T fat free refried beans
1/2 cup strawberries
Snack:
1 apple
2 sticks string cheese
Lunch:
1 serving tomato soup
1/2 grilled cheese-1 slice ezekiel bread & 1 wedge laughing cow cheese
Snack:
1 pear w/1 T almonds
Dinner:
4 oz wild salmon
3/4 cup whole grain pasta w/1/4 cup marinara & 1 T parmesan

SATURDAY
Breakfast:
3/4 cup Kashi go lean cereal
1 cup fat free milk
1 hard boiled egg
Snack:
1 cup fat free greek yogurt w/1/2 cup fruit
Lunch:
fish tacos
Snack:
2 servings crispy corn chips
1/2 cup salsa w/1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese
Dinner:
BBQ chicken
1/3 cup brown rice
2 cups mixed greens w/ 1/4 cup avocado & 1 T low fat caesar

SUNDAY

Breakfast:
2 Kashi whole grain waffles
1/2 cup fat free berry yogurt
1 hard boiled egg
Snack:
1 apple
1 string cheese
Lunch:
turkey sandwich-4 oz. turkey, 2 lettuce leaves, 2 tomato slices, 1 T dijon or low fat caesar on whole wheat pita
Snack:
2 servings rasperberry sorbet w/2 T nuts
Dinner:
fajitas-5 oz. chicken, 1/2 cup bell pepper, 1/2 cup onio, 1/2 cup salsa, 2 T low fat cheddar, on 2 multi grain wraps.

EatingDay 7

We had breakfast at the hotel this morning. I chose an english muffin with peanut butter and jam. I had a few bites of activa yogurt.

I had taken some hard boiled eggs, so I had one for snack along with string cheese.

I had lunch at someone's home after church. I ate a turkey sandwich rolled in a tortilla and 1/4 turkey croissant with about 6 carrots.

I left with a piece of chocolate cake. I had not even finished it before my stomach was shooting stabbing pains. It wasn't worth it. It also affected my mood.

For dinner we had cheese tortellini with marinara and alfredo sauce and green salad. I should have stopped with one helping but I didn't because I hadn't had an afternoon snack.

Exercise-Day 7

Day of Rest

Emotions-Day 7

I'm looking forward to starting a new week tomorrow. I can definitely see how my food choices affect my mood. Bad food=bad mood. Then, I tend to want to eat more when I am in that mood. Not good at all. I was watching a program on PBS that talked about the link between your gut and your brain. I see it to be true. Good food=good mood.(as long as the headaches stay away) I haven't had any headaches since the third day.

Eating-Day 6

Breakfast-check
Snack-check
Lunch-We headed out of town before I had lunch, so I ordered a chicken chipolte ranch salad from Rubios, with everything on the side. So, I got the lettuce and chicken then added pico, cheese, and guacamole. And, because they forgot to include the salad dressing, I saved on a lot of calories and I didn't have to use my sour cream to cut the spice.
Snack-check
Dinner-1 chicken enchillada, grapes, 2 servings rice, 6 chips with nacho cheese sauce(eaten while I was cleaning the kitchen)
OOOppppsss-3 chiken McNuggets and 2 oreos

Exercise-Day 6

NADA! Unless you count the stairs at the hotel and the one basket I made at the church. (That would be a basketball basket)

Emotions-Day 6

I amost made it. I was withing minutes of bedtime before I gobbled up 3 chicken McNuggets and 2 oreos. I'm not sure that I did it out of hunger. It was something more seedy and deep within me. I have to get over the fact that this is not fair. No one else cause me to become overweight. I will not be able to eat like most people if I want to gain my health. One day I may be able to have 2 oreos and then move on. But, until that day, I have to not play the fairness game. There was some guilt involved because I felt like I was sneaking the food (that's not healthly on a whole other lever), and I wasn't able to exercise at all. I also realize that guilt is not associated with good health. Who taught us that emotion anyway? We don't need it! I must forgive myself and move on, knowing that I will not be perfect in this journey or any other one. I have lots of good things to love about myself, and one day I will add my body and looking in the mirror to that list. But, not today.

Eating-Day 5

Because I live, I have to adapt. I just couldn't eat my oatmeal this morning. I took enough bites to take my vitamins, but that's about it. Then I was off to a meeting. Luckily, I packed my hearty snack. Grapes and string cheese. Then I had to have the car battery replaced. So, lunch did not happen until about 1:00. Better than most days, so far. Since I hadn't eaten my breakfast, I finished the chili from the other day, which was more than one serving, but I did not get full. Then it was off to take Megan to the doctor. Now I need my afternoon snack which was a whole wheat english muffin with natural peanut butter and 100% fruit spread. I was so on track for dinner until I found out that my mushroom caps for my pizzas had been put in the cupboard. Yuk! So, I had my pizza on flat bread. I know it was more calories, but I was adapting. I topped it with turkey bacon, olives, pineapple and green peppers. It was easy to take foods I had already eaten this week. Now I have to get next weeks menu ready for Sunday.

Weight:216:2 (pre-exercise)

Exercise-Day 5

I got up too late to exercise. With all my running around today and me wanting to relax on a Friday night, I just didn't think it was going to happen. However, I am determined, so I put on my running shoes, grabbed Nathan on his rip-stick and Katie on her roller blades and I hit the pavement at 9:30 p.m. I jog/walked for 28 minutes.

My mile time was 14:48!

I did my 10 minute body weight exercises.

I swam laps for 15 minutes.

All this was done by 10:45.

Whew!

Emotions-Day 5

I am a little nervous. Just when I think I can handle myself, I don't. We are leaving tomorrow and I will be in the unknown. It is so hard for me to be around food and not eat it. Today I am trying to stay up beat while the scale doesn't move. I tend to quickly get away from the strict menu and portion sizes. It is a trend. I am scared that I will get compacent again and not stick with the 30 day eating I have committed to. I would like to have at least one perfect day next week where I follow exactly what I outline at good time intervals. On the plus side, I did not have a headache again today. However, I haven't been falling asleep easily or sleeping very well. I feel kind of clogged up. But, again, I am determined. Knowing that I will write this at the end of the day has helped so for. I won't be writing tomorrow night, so I'll have to report on Sunday. Wish me luck!

Eating-Day 4

Today went pretty well. I was able to fight off my headache that seemed to be lingering around. I switched my lunch and had chili from last night on a corn tortilla with a little cheese. I wasn't able to eat my dinner before I went to a meeting, so I ate some of the chicken that would later be on my salad and that held me over. I ate my salad around 9:30 p.m. (not ideal) and instead of olive oil and lemon for the dressing I had fat free ranch. I also added a little agave sweetener to my smoothie. It helped and only adds about 20 calories. I am pleased on the whole.

Weight:215.9
same as yesterday

Exercise-Day 4

I did not sleep well last night. I went to bed with a headache and woke up many, many times. So, when I rolled out at 9:00 this morning, I was not feeling up to going outside and running. I started to feel discouraged, but I made a goal to walk on the treadmill at noon. I did 26 min, the majority at 3.0 on level 4 incline.

Then I swam for 15 minutes.

I just finished my 10 minute body weight exercises. I am proud of myself for getting everything in.

Emotions-Day 4

Things weren't looking good when I got up. I wasn't feeling well and I was worried about the day. Being able to fight off the headache was huge. It felt like a big accomplishment. I didn't take any advil today. I am happy with my progress and look forward to a time when this feels more natural and it does not take up every waking thought. I feel like I am constantly eating or preparing food or thinking about what I'll be eating next. Old habits are strong and it takes quite an effort to get past them. Being away from home this weekend will be a big test and I wish it was not so early on in the process. But, I've just got to try my best with every meal.

Eating-Day 3

Today was more of a struggle for me. I found that I had a hard time finishing all the food and then became hungy quicker. My headache began at 11:00 this morning. By 1:30 I had only had breakfast and snack and had to lay down. So, I ate lunch about 2:45. When I started getting hungry for my afternoon snack, dinner was almost ready, so I waited. Then I ate an extra portion of chili at dinner (150 calories) since I had skipped my snack. Then I went back and had another helping on a corn tortilla with a little cheese. Now, I was finally putting everything away and I ate more with a few chips. I don't expect to see any weight loss tomorrow.

Weight:215.9

Exercise-Day 3

I got out at 9:00 this morning. Imagine that, it was still hot. I jog/walked for 24 minutes. My mile time was 15:18. Each day I am increasing my time by 2 minutes and trying to shave time off my mile.

I did my 10 min. body weight exercises.

I swam for 15 minutes.

Emotions-Day 3

I always feel good through my exercising. Today I even stayed in the pool after my laps and swam with a couple of the kids. But, when the headache came on at 11:00 a.m., it was downhill from there. I finally decided to lay down around 1:30 and try to shake the headache. Of course, the kids were super loud and after an hour I came out shouting. This NEVER helps my mood. I am a little disappointed that I ate more at dinner than I should and I skipped my snack. Today I felt full for the first time in the three days. On the upside, the day is over and I won't look back. Tomorrow is a new day for me to succeed. I came across this quote:

"In every moment, during every day of your life, you have choices. The choice to create more struggle or the choice to create more freedom and joy. Choose thoughts that support you in feeling good more and more each day."



I'm thinking tomorrow will be a great day!

Eating-Day 2

I did well today on my meal plan. I still ate breakfast quite late, but that will change when school starts. I found that I don't like jicima, so that will be deleted from future menus. But, at least I tried it. I even survived a great temptation. A friend called me and invited me to go out for dessert after our meeting. "It's only day 2!" I thought. But, I told her I wasn't eating dessert right now, but I would love to come for the company. We went to a frozen yogurt place and I watched her eat and I focused on spending time with her. I can do this!

Weight:216.6

Exercise-Day 2

I got out a little earlier this morning. It was 9:30, but still hot. I jog/walked for 22 minutes. My mile time was 15:51.


I did both sets today of my 10 min. body-weight exercises.



I swam for 15 minutes

Emotions-Day 2

I am so proud of myself for being here. The menu today was easy to follow and I couldn't even finish my dinner. However, I did get a headache again around 4:00. I found that I was a little grouchy today and I'm not sure why. I find that I am constantly thinking about what I've got to make next. I am trying to focus on eating before I feel extremely hungry and stopping before I feel extremely full. For example, I am hungry right now, so I am going right to bed. I'm hoping for no headache tomorrow as my body slowly realizes it will not be getting doused with sugar. I'm happy to have my girls home from camp.

Eating-Day 1

I did fairly well following the plan today. The big problem was that I got up late and ate my fruit. Then by the time I exercised and ate the rest of my breakfast, it was almost noon. So, that pushed all of my meals later. I let too much time pass before my snack, which gave me a headache. I never did end up eating my afternoon snack before dinner.

We had company for dinner and so I ate my chicken, but also had some pasta salad along with grapes and carrots.

I do feel like there is plenty of food on this plan. I feel good about my efforts. I also shopped for the rest of the food I'll need for the week.

Weight:218.4

Exercise-Day 1

I didn't get out the door until 10:00 this morning and it was hot. But, at least I went. I jog/walked for 20 minutes. My one mile time was 17:15.

I came home at did my 5 minute mobility and body-weight exercises. I forgot to do the second set.

Then I swam free-style laps for 15 minutes.

I am proud of my efforts.

Emotions-Day 1

I felt good today. I started the morning with scriptures and pondering. It's amazing how much that helps the day. Even though everything did not go as planned, that is probably going to be par for the course. This is life after all! I was positive in the face of non-perfection. That's all I can ask for.

Menu Planning Monday

I am so excited to post my first Menu to link over at I'm an Organizing Junkie. The menu is lengthy and detailed for my benefit. Here is the plan for the week.

MONDAY
Breakfast:
1 egg + 2 egg whites scrambled with 1/3 c. salsa and 3 T. low fat mozzerella on corn tortilla
1 cup watermelon chunks
Snack:
1 apple
2 T. almonds
Lunch:
4 oz. turkey burger with 1 tomato slice, 2 lettuce leaves in 1/2 a whole wheat pita
1/2 cup strawberries
Snack:
hummus deviled eggs (replace egg yolks with store bought hummus)
Dinner:
5 oz. BBQ chicken
8 asparagus spears
1 cup cherry tomatoes with balsalmic vinegar and 1 T. chopped basil

TUESDAY
Breakfast:
ham and cheese breakfast melt
3/4 cup strawberries
Snack:
1 apple
1 stick lowfat mozzerella string cheese
Lunch:
turkey wrap-2 oz sliced turkey, 2 slices tomato and 2 tsp. dijon mustard in whole wheat pita
6 carrots and 1 cup jucima sticks
Snack:
hummus deviled eggs
Dinner:
5 oz. salmon with 1 cup cooked brown rice
1 cup sliced zucchini and yellow squash steamed with 2 T. diced onion and garnished with 1 tsp. fresh basil

WEDNESDAY
Breakfast:
Banana nut oats-1 cup oats cooked in 1 1/2 cups fat free milk with 1 mashed banana and 1/2 tsp. vanilla and topped with 1 T. walnuts
1/2 cup blueberries
3 hard boiled egg whites
Snack:
2 meduim celery stalks with 6 T. hummus
Lunch:
tuna salad pita-
Snack:
PBJ-2 slices Ezekiel whole grain bread with 1 T natural peanut butter and 2 T sugar free all fruit spread
Dinner:
turkey chili
1 1/2 cups chopped romaine lettuce with 1/4 cup sliced bell pepper, 3/4 cup sliced cucumber, and 1 T. low-fat vinaigrette

THURSDAY
Breakfast:
same as Tuesday
Snack:
raspberry smoothie
Lunch:
turkey burger
Snack:
1 apple
2 T. almonds
Dinner:
chopped salad

FRIDAY
Breakfast:
1/3 cup oatmeal cooked in 2/3 cup water
1/2 banana
1/2 cup fat free Greek yogurt with 1/2 tsp. vanilla
Snack:
peanutty spread(9 oz silken tofu,1/2 cup peanut butter, 4 tsp. honey, 2 tsp. lime juice) with
1 cup jicima slices
Lunch:
tuna melt-6 oz. tuna with 2 T diced onion and 2 T low-fat vinaigrette on whole grain english muffin
Snack:
2 servings crispy corn chips(corn tortillas coated with olive oil cooking spray sprinkled with cumin, chili powder and salt baked for 10 min. at 350) with 1/2 cup salsa mixed with 1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese
Dinner:
2 portobello pizzzas (the family gets to use flatbread)-mushroom caps topped with low fat marinara, turkey italian sausage, mozzerella, parmesan and fresh basil
1/2 cup red grapes

SATURDAY
Breakfast:
greek yogurt parfait-greek yogurt with 1/4 cup strawberries and 2 T low fat granola
3 slices turkey bacon
1 hard boiled egg
Snack:
1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese with 1 T. almonds
1 medium pear
Lunch:
green salad
Snack:
1 apple with cheese stick
Dinner:
taco salad (not on the diet, but we will be out of town at a family dinner)

SUNDAY
still out of town and at the mercy of the hotel for breakfast and family for other meals. I'll do my best.

The Beginning-Again

I am 40 years old. I haven't been in shape for over 20 years and I have been significantly overweight for the past 15. This is my journey. I can no longer ignore my health. I have thought about it plenty and tried many different times to improve, but here I am. I want to pass on healthier habits to my family. I would hate to watch my children go through the same experience as me. I want better for them. Whether I realize it or not, they watch me. They learn from me. I was an athlete. I am an athlete. I have started running this past year. I can run for over 30 minutes without stopping. Yet, I am still obese. The time has come to change my relationship with food. It's an emotional outlet for me. I know I can do better. I must do better. I have created this outlet to track my:

Eating, Exercising and Emotions

(3E for short)

Each Sunday night I will post my menu plan for the week and link it to Menu Planning Monday over at I'm an Organizing Junkie. Then, each night I will post my 3E results for that day. This is for me.

I am starting out with The Biggest Loser 30 day Jumpstart program. All my meals will come from that. After that, we will see.